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body confidence Archives - Signature Five - A Personal Styling Service, Zurich

Oct 11 2023
0
inner critic

What You Really Should Know About Your Body Image

By | Uncategorised

Let’s talk about body shape and why we’re so obsessed with it! 

We now live in a time where different body shapes are far more widely accepted. And yet, as women, we’re still holding ourselves back because of our size. 

I’m super passionate about helping women break free from negative body images so they can step into their greatness. And, having dressed women of all different shapes and sizes, I can honestly say that only a tiny fraction of them have actually loved their shape when I first met them. 

And that makes me really sad! 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I don’t care when I put on a few extra pounds myself. Over the years I’ve had my fair share of weight gain and moments when I’ve looked in the mirror and not liked what I’ve seen. 

But here’s the thing, I don’t let it stop me from trying to look my best no matter what the dreaded scales tell me. And I don’t want it to stop you either. 

Excuses, excuses!

If I had a dollar for every time a woman says to me: “I want to work with you but only once I’ve lost these extra pounds”, I’d be a very rich woman! 

Now, some of these women are really determined to nail their style so they do indeed come back to me. Often they’re still at a similar size, but their desire to look the way they want overrides the limitations they’ve put on themselves. And once we get busy dressing their unique body, they often say they wished they’d done this sooner. 

Another statement I hear a lot is: “I don’t want to spend money on clothes this size”, even when the wardrobe they have is making them feel seriously unattractive – what!! 

Ladies, honestly, this has to stop!

If you know you’re not showing up fully and are holding yourself back because of your size, shape or weight, this is for you…and it may be triggering… 

The issue is not your body. The issue is what’s going on in your head!

Now please know, I say that with the utmost love and respect. We have to keep it real though. And you need to understand that left unchecked, your mindset will stop you in your tracks and have you blaming your body every single time. 

So, if you’re stopping yourself from living your life, or holding yourself back in your career, let’s cut that BS right now so you can start looking and feeling amazing in your clothes. 

What is body image? 

Body image isn’t just what your body looks like; it’s about your thoughts and perception of your body. 

In essence, it’s the mental image you hold of yourself. And this doesn’t just apply to women who think they’re carrying a few extra pounds.

When I was very slim I would constantly hear people say I was just skin and bone, and that made me so self conscious. And then, when I had my children, I gained weight, and I felt like that was no good either. 

One of the hardest things I found about gaining weight was I didn’t want to be in front of the camera – that became a big no-no.

And if there was no getting away from the photo call, I’d either offer to take the photo to avoid being in it, or strategically position a child or someone else in front of me so I was hidden. 

I see this with other women too, and especially those who are entrepreneurs. They’ll avoid opportunities to speak on stage or be visible in their business. The major drawback of that of course is that nowadays personal branding is everywhere, and in order to scale your business, you really need to be visible. 

So can we make a deal? Can we promise each other…

  • No more hiding behind baggy clothes (because they’re actually making you look bigger, not smaller!)
  • No more holding yourself back from going for that job or approaching that client because of your size, and
  • No more being intimidated in front of the camera.. Just imagine the impact you can make showing up authentically and confidently. 

The paradox of changing your body 

When you’re struggling with a negative body image, it’s easy to slip into a vicious cycle of wanting to change because you feel you’re not “good enough”. 

And then the: “I’ll be happy when…” merry-go-round kicks in and you’re off spinning around getting absolutely nowhere and feeling utterly rubbish in the process. 

The best thing you can do is take the pressure off and stop the self-depreciation. I’ve personally found that restrictive diets and excessive exercise don’t work for me long-term. Yes, I’ve experienced short-term happiness because of the results, but that method is just not sustainable because it’s difficult to keep up with, and in the end made me miserable, cranky, and basically Hangry 😉 Now I try to live by the 80% healthy/ 20% what I want approach, and I love it!

When you take the pressure and expectations off and start working on being happy in your body right now, as if by magic change naturally begins to occur.

The power of self-image

One of my all time favourite books and I recommend for you to read is ‘Psycho-Cybernetics’ written by a plastic surgeon (Maxwell Maltz). In the book he shares about his patients who wanted plastic surgery to feel better about themselves, but ultimately this isn’t what happened. 

What Dr Maltz realised was it’s our thoughts and beliefs on our self image that shape our reality, and not how our body actually looks at all. 

That’s why the first thing I do with my clients is a deep dive into their mindset. We look at…

  • Their belief systems
  • How they want to show up in the world
  • How to upgrade their self-image, and 
  • How to love themselves 

And talking of loving yourself, another great book I highly recommend is, ‘How to Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It’ by Kamal Ravikant. It has some great exercises that are simple but impactful. 

Stop waiting to define your style

Your clothes give non-verbal clues as to how you generally feel and your overall level of self-worth, and they also let people know who you are as a person.

If you want to reach your career and life goals then I’d encourage you to wear clothes that represent this and showcase your personality and fit your lifestyle. 

A few nice pieces that fit your body as it currently is will make you feel so much better. I get it, if you are still determined to lose a few pounds. But in the interim just invest in a few pieces that you can easily mix and match and just watch what a difference it can make everyday.

And I’ll let you into a secret, some of my clients lose weight naturally once they change their mindset, accept their bodies, and see themselves in clothes that look amazing and flatter their current shape. 

You see, your body structure will always be similar whether you lose or gain weight. For example, if you’ve always had a bigger booty, your booty will always be more prominent even once you’ve shed a few pounds. 

Understanding how to dress for your shape can be one of your most valuable tools. Knowing… 

  • What silhouettes work
  • How to put clothes together
  • What fabrics, colours, and accessories to wear to help you look elongated and slimmer, or wider and shorter

…And then working these areas for maximum effect, can definitely boost your confidence. 

Clothes aren’t going to camouflage everything, but they can help you look and feel more stylish and put together rather than frumpy. 

So ladies, are you ready to stop holding yourself back from the life and career you want because of your body shape? It’s time to get out into the world and create memories, have those photos taken, and take centre stage in your life so you can really make an impact!  

And if you’re ready to take the next step and start upping your style game, come and join me for my upcoming masterclass. You can register here for: “Ditch the Dullness: 3 Zero-Cost Secrets to Catapult your Style from Boring to Influential” and I can’t wait to see you there! CLICK HERE to register for our Masterclass.

 

Jul 09 2021
0
confidence

Confidence: It’s an Inside AND an Outside Job!

By | Body Confidence

One of my core beliefs is that true confidence can only be achieved when we work on the inside and the outside of ourselves. These two things are completely interconnected and finding confidence in one cannot be achieved without finding confidence in the other.

Now, while I definitely have a wealth of knowledge around finding confidence in our outer appearance, when it comes to the inner work, I want to introduce you to my friend Selina Man Karlsson. Selina is a previous client of mine and an expert when it comes to the world of inner confidence.

During our time working together I helped Selina elevate her outer confidence and style so it became beautifully aligned with the internal confidence shifts that she’d made in her life.

But I also have first-hand experience of Selina’s therapy work. She helped me make internal shifts at a time when I knew I was going to start speaking at events, but I was afraid of public speaking.

It’s my absolute pleasure to share this interview with you. Selina and I chatted about confidence and self-esteem, and you’ll be introduced to the transformational way she works with her clients using RTT.

This blog is a little longer than usual as there was so much juicy content shared, but I didn’t want to leave anything out, so grab yourself a drink, get comfy and let’s dive in…

I’d love to start by having you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got into RTT and what RTT is?

Selina: I’m British born Chinese and I’ve been living in Switzerland for almost 20-years. I came over because of my work for a bank, which I worked for, for 13-years before setting up my own company called Curious Courses. I remember going to a conference that was given by a guy called Brian Weiss, who wrote this amazing book called ‘Many Lives, Many Masters’. After the 3-day conference I thought, “WOW, I really want to go deeper into this”. I felt a real urge to start looking and I found Marisa Peer’s Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) course.

RTT has been developed by Marisa who is spoken about as being the best therapists in England. She combined her 30-years of experience into RTT, and the basis is hypnotherapy. But she also combines quite a few other tools within it to support people. During RTT you’re guided into a very relaxed hypnotic state, and the idea is that if you’re facing an issue or challenge now, you go back to a previous experience where your subconscious mind has been told it wasn’t safe or that something was dangerous.

You’re guided to different points in your life, when you were 5, 10 or it could even be last week. It’s just little points in your life where your subconscious has believed that something was really a big deal at that time. Then by understanding that you’re no longer in that situation anymore you can start turning things around. Then we produce an audio recording that helps you change your belief, which you listen to for 21 days.

So that’s the essence I would say. But there’s quite a few other things depending on what comes up. We have different tools to handle different situations.

So, if I’m understanding this correctly, you go into people’s pasts, and look at what’s triggered them with creating their current thoughts, beliefs, and stories. So, in what way does that help your clients?

Selina: The best way I can describe it is that a belief that you had leads to a thought, which leads to a feeling, which leads to the actions you take, which leads to the results, which feeds back into the belief.

So, let’s use the belief that I’m no good at public speaking as an example. By changing the original belief and giving yourself more positive beliefs like, I look forward to public speaking. And I’m helping other people. Then the thought is, “Well actually I’m going to help other people. It’s not about me, it’s about others.” And the feeling is that you feel a bit calmer about it. The action is that you get up on stage and you’re able to do your thing because you know you’re actually helping other people, you’re not thinking about yourself. And the results are good because these people are happy with what you delivered, and that feeds back into, I’m helping others.

You can see how, by going to the route of the belief, and letting go of something that things change. Your subconscious is always trying to protect you, even if things don’t seem that way. Once you understand that it’s so much easier, because then you can communicate with your subconscious mind and make the changes that you want.

One of the reasons why I’ve been dying to interview you is because I see connections between the work you do and what I do. We’re both providing women with tools to make them feel good about themselves and be confident. I would love to know what advice you’d give someone who may lack confidence or have low self-esteem?

Selina: Well, there’s actually a lot you can do! Let me give you a couple of examples.

First, start identifying the negative voice. Generally, it’s telling you not to be stupid, don’t do that, who do you think you are, and all that kind of nonsense that goes on in your head. Some people call it ‘monkey chatter’, but it can just be a negative voice. The first step is to identify that voice, and then it’s almost like you can observe it. You can start to realise, oh it’s not necessarily me, it’s something else.

A very easy trick is to imagine one of those old radios and that you can turn down the volume dial – or even turn it off completely! Or you have a very positive voice that counteracts it, and you say, “Hold on! Shut up! It’s my turn to talk!”

So, you can either turn the volume off on the voice or you can start talking back. You can ask what the concern is, what’s the worst that can happen? And go to the point where you negotiate with your fear and say, “What if I try this? What if I do that? What will you feel then?” Then things will start changing.

Another thing you can do is journal about your fear. That’s similar to the process of speaking to it and just seeing what it has to say. It’s just a different way of doing it. So, either imagine yourself speaking with it or just writing it out. Then you can get a lot of insight into the situations that have caused you to feel this way.

You recently spoke to the ladies in my Style with Confidence online program and the common challenge that practically everyone shared was seeking validation from others. So, what are your thoughts on that?

Selina: I think it’s something that’s so ingrained in our systems. Even from childhood as a baby, you learn that if you gurgle and smile, you’re going to get a great reaction from your parents. And if you don’t, they’ll say, “What’s wrong with you?” Or make some negative comment. So, it’s really natural because as children we need to please our parents otherwise we might not get our basic needs met. It’s a survival mechanism.

If you think back to how we lived in tribes. The worst thing you could do was be ousted from a tribe because you wouldn’t survive. Nowadays you might survive but it won’t be great. Survival is inbuilt in us, so you can understand that we want to stay cool with our tribe so that we look after each other.

Just having that awareness can help. When you don’t have awareness and you’re doing it automatically then you’re just people pleasing. A lot of us are people pleasers – me included! But sometimes I have to ask myself the question, is this what I really want as well? Giving a little bit of a gap between saying yes to everything or doing something that you think someone would want rather than what you want, allows you to really evaluate and ask if this is what you really want as well.

Monika: For me that’s really important, because when I’m working with clients, often they say they can’t wear something because their husband likes them to look a certain way. This creates an inner conflict. I always say style doesn’t start with your wardrobe it starts with your mindset, goals, and vision – who is the woman that you want to be? How do you want to come across?

You talk about turning the volume down. But when it’s your partner, a friend or family member, what advice would you give someone if they’ve got conflicting dialogues going on?

Selina: Good question! I definitely agree with you – first of all it’s important to find out who this woman wants to be? She’s come for a reason. She’s obviously not happy with something and wants some sort of change. Ultimately, it’s not the other person’s life. It’s her life that she’s choosing, so the first place to start is to accept what she wants. Because it’s very easy to be influenced by others and do what they want.

I believe you won’t feel good until you decide on what you want no matter what anyone else says. Maybe people need to adjust to your new style, but if they really are truly a loved one, a partner, a friend, they will understand and take in your needs. You can’t try to change someone; the person must want to change from within. So, I totally agree with you, start with what the person wants for themself and go from there.

So, what types of challenges can RTT help with?

Selina: Well, there’s many benefits. So, I typically work with people who are procrastinating and are having trouble taking action and doing something they want to do. But I’ve also worked quite a lot with people who are having relationship issues. And they might not be partner relationship issues, it might be a mother/daughter or mother/son relationships and I’ve found that very rewarding too.

I also work a lot with people who see a pattern that they have trouble breaking, for example if they keep having the same pattern repeat itself in relationships. It’s amazing because it can really shift something so easily and quickly. It just works, by reprogramming the mind and putting the work in and being open to going into places to let go of things. Even for very traumatic things we’ve found that it really helps you let go of situations.

One of the things you’ve spoken about in my Style with Confidence program is body confidence. I find this is the number one thing that stops most women from dressing or turning up how they want. If someone came to you for help with body confidence, how would you help them and what would be the 3 tips that you would give?

Selina: I would discuss with them the situations they find themselves in where they’re not comfortable. And then I’d ask them for a wish list on how they would like to feel instead. That might look like: I would love to feel relaxed and comfortable wearing a bikini on the beach. Or I would love to feel confident and strong on stage. Then I would use RTT and then give them an audio of positive affirmations that they listen to for 21 days to really change their mindset.

It’s also important to experiment a bit and play with things. It’s about noticing how you feel doing everyday things. So, wearing a different colour or setting yourself up in a situation where you get to try something new.

It’s also about upgrading your life. I follow Denise Duffield Thomas who talks a lot about upgrading your life and this is the thing you also helped me with – totally upgrading my wardrobe. You came up with pieces that I would never have normally gone for myself. And I love that. I was really happy with the work we did together because it helped introduce me to different brands as well at a time when I felt like I was in a bit of a rut, buying from the same kind of shops. I really appreciated having your extra eyes on things.

I’d love to wrap things up with you sharing a personal story that relates to your own body confidence journey

Selina: I’m Chinese and I grew up in England and whenever I went for holidays as a child to Hong Kong, it was awful. The Chinese are very blunt and very direct, and they’ll tell you what they think! So basically, they would say to me that I was fat or that I’d put on weight. I don’t think they meant it in the harsh way it came out! Chinese people tend to be very slim, and all the sizes are pretty small. So, whenever I went it was just a nightmare.

First of all, I’d be preparing myself for these comments, and then whenever I bought clothes, they would be extra-large or extra extra large, but in England I was probably a medium or something like that. It was depressing! And I think I carried that with me for quite a while, because I’m not a slim Chinese woman. I’m medium and I’m average if I look at myself from an English perspective, so for me that was always a struggle.

It definitely left a bit of an impact on me. I always found myself not feeling comfortable with my body size and shape. But when I lost weight, my parents would say to me, “Oh you don’t look good!” They want weight because in the old Chinese days actually having some weight was good because it was safer, and you’d survive through famine and things like that.

So, for me it has been a lot of work. I’ve worked on weight issues. I’ve worked on feeling confident. I find that I do sometimes flip flop a bit. It’s really about being conscious of it and knowing that I do feel healthier, fitter and stronger when I eat well and do more exercise.

I think that’s more important to me actually than the weight now, and I think that reflects in my clothes and how I wear my clothes as well. I feel more confident in that respect. It does take time and it takes effort. But I have changed my diet a lot and I take supplements and I exercise, and that gives me confidence to feel good in clothes. Especially if I’m speaking on stage, it does help when I’m feeling confident.

So that’s a wrap! Selina and I hope you’ve enjoyed our chat and have taken away some golden nuggets to bring into your own life.

If you’re interested in connecting with Selina further, she regularly holds workshops. To find out when the next one will be, CLICK HERE to visit her website and under programs you’ll find all her upcoming events.

Jun 09 2021
0
professional

The Power of a Professional

By | Body Confidence

The following is a blog post written by my client Ilana Jankowitz. Ilana shares from her heart about her experience of working with me and the positive impact it’s had on her life and her body confidence. I hope you enjoy it…

If you’ve ever read my story on my website, you’ll know that I grew up around a lot of scarcity.

My scarcity beliefs came with some deep routed traumas and growing up my fear around money felt very real. My childhood experience of spending came with extremes that swung wildly between lack and indulgence.

Not surprisingly, when I was finally old enough to control my own money, I found myself overcompensating and operating from a place of fear of not having enough.

Thank goodness I found money coaching!

Through my own coaching journey, I’ve dedicated a lot of time to working through the blocks and attachment I had to scarcity, and now have a different, healthier mindset. This is why I continue to do the work, because I believe we’re all constantly creating money stories.

I’m a completely different person now and see prosperity and abundance in every area of my life. The transformation has been nothing short of miraculous.

Which is why a recent experience completely knocked me sideways!

I needed help!

I’m currently having a beautiful new website made and a while back decided that I really wanted some new images. I don’t like having my photo taken at the best of times, but the idea of having professional images that would be out in the public domain started getting me into a bit of a spin.

I felt completely stressed out and my head was filled with all sorts of thoughts…

“I can’t wear that anymore!”

“I can’t wear black.”

“I feel fat – maybe I should wait until I lose some weight.”

“Shopping is so stressful, I hate it!”

Can you relate?

Eventually I decided enough was enough. I knew I needed professional help with my wardrobe dilemma, so I reached out to Monika Mueller from Signature Five.

Professionals are a godsend

Monika is now my fashion angel! She strikes a wonderful balance between being extremely professional but incredibly kind and approachable. Her softly spoken warmth and vast knowledge of fashion immediately puts me at ease. There’s something so calming about knowing you’re in the safe hands of someone who really knows their stuff.

On our first call I explained to Monika that I had a photoshoot coming up. We chatted about what I needed and wanted, but honestly, I had no idea about either! I didn’t have a clue about what colours I like, styles I like or what even suits me.

Not fazed by my lack of knowing, Monika took over and got to work creating mood boards and searching stores online for the perfect pieces to fit my needs. I cannot tell you the relief I felt – Monika made the entire experience so unbelievably easy and stress-free for me. She gave me back hours and hours of time that I could instead use focusing on my business.

Once Monika finished her selection, she sent me links to each item so I could go ahead and make my purchases. In the end I ordered two sizes of everything because I didn’t even know my size – no joke!

What on earth is happening to me!

That night, purchases made, I suddenly woke up at 3am in a complete panic!

“What have I done!”

“Why am I overindulging!”

“Why am I spending money on myself!”

“Why didn’t I just buy one item or do my photos for the website another time!”

And then the big one hit me…

“This is a luxury, and I DON’T DESERVE IT!”

I couldn’t believe the fear and flood of scarcity and lack that came up.

I’m sharing this because I don’t believe for one minute that I’m the only one that experiences feelings like this. Through my years as a money coach it’s something that comes up time and time again. But what really shocked me was that I thought I’d dealt with these feelings!

With knowledge comes calm

The next morning, with my head still in a spin, I took myself off for a walk in the forest to give myself a good talking too!

Dropping out of my head and the noise of my ego, I could finally hear all the things that I knew were true. That I’m okay. I have more than enough to do this. I’m worthy. I’m abundant. I’m deserving. I’m confident and want to show up and be seen.

All the money work I’ve done over the years allowed me to shift my mind from fear and panic into truth. And, knowing that I was in such safe and professional hands with Monika, calmed me and gave me security that the purchases I’d made were an investment in me and my business.

I want you to ask yourself right now…

  • Do you deprive yourself of living abundantly?
  • How often do you miss out on going to wonderful events because you believe you have nothing to wear?
  • Do you allow yourself to dress as the successful woman you are/are working to become?
  • Do you hate shopping like I did and want a fashion angel like Monika to support you?

Working with a professional like Monika has been lifechanging for me. Before this experience I would rather have gone to the dentist than shop, that’s how much I hated it!

But I’m so excited I made the decision to reach out for Monika’s help. The signature style we’re creating together feels perfect for me and my lifestyle. Monika’s inside-out approach to styling has helped elevate my confidence to new levels and I couldn’t be happier.

We all deserve to feel confident in our bodies and look our best. I’ve waited a lifetime for this experience – please don’t wait so long!

If, like Ilana, you’re ready to feel confident and elevate your style in your career/business, come and join me for my upcoming masterclass. You can register here for: “Ditch the Dullness: 3 Zero-Cost Secrets to Catapult your Style from Boring to Influential” and I can’t wait to see you there!

May 27 2021
0
weight gain

How to Feel Confident After Weight Gain

By | Body Confidence

I’ve noticed that over the last year my weight keeps fluctuating, and every time it goes up my confidence takes a bit of a knock. It would be super easy to blame COVID lockdown or the lack of sleep I’ve been getting because I have two little ones. And, while those things are real, I recognise that if I’m honest with myself they’re also excuses.

And I know I’m not alone. We all look for all sorts of reasons outside of ourselves for why we feel the way we do.

I recently had a client who shared with me that she keeps wearing the same clothes over and over. She’s been stuck at home, has gained weight and it’s really knocked her confidence. So much so that she now tries to avoid going anywhere where she might need to dress up.

Lacking confidence because of weight gain is such a common scenario for women. And while, for sure, the pandemic hasn’t helped, we can’t hang our hats solely on that for the reason why.

I’ll let you in on a secret…

Confidence is an inside job! No pandemic, children, job, relationship or anything else can make us feel unconfident or, on the flip side, confident. While it might look like those things contribute to how we feel, the truth is they just don’t have that power over us!

How we feel begins and ends with the thoughts we have that we hold on to and then create an experience of. Holding on to a whole host of negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves can have a knock-on effect with so many different areas of our lives. This is exactly what was happening with my client that I mentioned. She avoided meeting family or friends because of what she thought about her body and clothes, which in turn impacted her confidence.

Be gentle

First and foremost, I want to really encourage you to be gentle with yourself and take care of you. We can often have the tendency to not love ourselves fully when we don’t look a particular way.

When we find ourselves in that place our internal dialogue can become critical and harsh. We start saying things to ourselves that we wouldn’t dream of saying to our kids or friends, so why do we think it’s ok to say them to ourselves?

It’s ok to acknowledge that some areas might need improving. But we need to remember that it’s a two-way relationship. We need to treat our bodies with love and kindness and gratitude. When you think about it, your body already does so much – criticising it will do nothing for your self-esteem or motivation.

Reality check!

For most people, having clothes in their wardrobe that no longer fit makes them feel worse.

So, first things first, you need to have a reality check and see what fits you.

Anything that doesn’t fit you at the moment, I want you to put those clothes aside. Or better still put them in a box or somewhere you can’t see them.

BUT…

If you’ve gained a lot of weight over a long period of time, then I urge you to start thinking about giving these clothes away.

Clothes that no longer serve you but are still hanging in your wardrobe don’t encourage you to feel good about yourself and are not good for your sanity. Seeing items every morning that don’t fit anymore is not the best way to start your day. In fact, it’s a sure-fire way to start beating yourself up before your day has even started.

So, they need to go!

Pack them up and either donate them to charity or give them to someone you know will get use out of them.

After you’ve cleared out the clothes that aren’t serving you right now, look at what’s left. Decide what you want to add that will help you feel good about your wardrobe and give you a few different options, so it won’t feel like you’re always wearing the same clothes.

Make a shopping list of possible items and then buy a few that, when you think about them, you feel good about your outer appearance.

I’ll do it when…

Something I often hear is women saying that they’ll join my program once they’ve lost weight.

While of course there are always exceptions to every rule, I can honestly say that in all my time as a personal stylist, rare is the woman who actually gets to her ideal weight while she’s waiting! Instead, a common pattern is that they get stuck in a cycle of not feeling good about themselves and wearing clothes that don’t lift them up either. This often causes overeating and doing less, which just perpetuates the cycle.

In my experience, when clients who are carrying extra weight invest time in their outer appearance and learn how to dress for the body they have right now, the weight actually comes off more quickly and easily.

Honestly – it’s like magic!

Because they’re feeling good about themselves and want to have more of that feel good factor, they’re naturally inspired to start taking better care of themselves.

Having clothes we actually like wearing and feel amazing in makes the world of difference to every woman. Looking and feeling great whatever the scales say, can’t help but raise our confidence and ignite our self-love.

If you’re someone whose shape has changed, it’s time to start exploring how to dress your body as it is right now. To find out how to do this, and start using your clothes to your advantage, join my ‘How to Dress for Your Body’ masterclass. CLICK HERE to register.

Feb 02 2021
0
wardrobe detox

Decluttering Your Wardrobe Isn’t The First Step

By | Mindset & Confidence, Wardrobe Detox

Many stylists (me included) often talk about a wardrobe detox being the first activity we do with our clients.

But it’s recently occurred to me that I actually need to do a little rewind on that. Because, in actual fact, before I start doing anything physical with my clients, the very first step we take is an internal one.

You see, to truly find a style that speaks to you on every level, the first thing you need to do is get clear on your vision. And having a true vision means understanding your mindset and the limiting beliefs you have about who you are, what “society” expects of you, how comfortable and accepting you are of your body, and so on.

When you can be really honest about these things, you bust your own BS around them, the excuses about why you can’t have the style you want stop, and you’re free to just go for it.

Encouraging and supporting my clients with this mindset work can feel as enjoyable to me as the styling itself. When the internal pieces slot into place, magic happens and it’s like seeing a woman reborn and ready to take on the world – it’s truly glorious!

So, before you fling open your wardrobe doors and go full throttle into a declutter, first let’s find out…

What’s going on in your head?

Your mindset is the thing that will have the greatest impact on how you dress.

From believing you’re worth investing in, to challenging the idea that some women are just more stylish than others, how you think about these things will determine the style choices you make.

The most common disconnect I see in women when it comes to mindset, is that they want to prioritise their personal style but come up with a million excuses that hold them back…

  • I don’t have the perfect body
  • I have kids
  • They don’t make nice clothes in plus sizes
  • I need lots of money to have a great wardrobe

Sound familiar?

It’s easy to look at super stylish women and think it’s a breeze for them, but that simply isn’t true. There’s no such thing as effortless style; it takes work and commitment and a desire to genuinely care about how you look.

What style vision are you holding?

When it comes to your style you need to have a vision that’s fully aligned with your goals. How do you want to be in the world? How do you want people to see you? When you align your inner vision with your outward appearance your whole demeanor changes. You hold yourself more confidently, you command attention in an authentic way and you allow yourself to fully show up.

A great example of this is going for a promotion at work. If the promotion requires you to step up and lead a team, create a clear vision of how your outward appearance can support this? Never underestimate how much dressing for the role you’re stepping into can help you embody the mindset and confidence you need. Your style really is that powerful!

Once you’re clear on your vision and goals, give yourself permission to have some fun browsing magazines or searching Pinterest. Resources like these are brilliant for sparking your creativity and helping you understand what styles speak to you. In the ‘Get Visual’ section of my recent blog “Oh My God You Can’t Wear That!” I share more about using Pinterest as a tool for this purpose.

Are you working with your body?

Knowing what suits your body shape, skin tone and features is an absolute game changer. But I want to be clear, I’m talking about owning your body shape as it is right now, not how you hope it will be one day!

You deserve to feel amazing in your clothes whatever shape and size you are! And, when you use your clothes to your advantage, they can really accentuate and elevate your assets and minimize any less than desirable aspects.

Knowledge about which styles work best for your shape will help you create a more cohesive and streamlined wardrobe, which makes putting outfits together a dream.

Does your wardrobe reflect your time?

If you find yourself saying you have nothing to wear, it’s because your wardrobe is not entirely matching your lifestyle. Your clothes need to be aligned with how you spend most of your time.

When you have a few minutes spare, record how your week is broken down. Are you 60% at work, 20% doing sports and 20% socialising? Look at how this breaks down. Then look at your wardrobe and see if it represents how your time is split.

When your wardrobe is aligned with your lifestyle you’ll find it’s more cohesive and easier to dress every morning.

Once you have clarity on all of these elements, it’s finally time to throw open the doors to your wardrobe and let the decluttering begin! And I can guarantee you’ll do it with a far greater feeling of purpose and ease.

If you’re ready to commit to finding your style and would like support with piecing your your vision together, get in touch – it would be my pleasure to help you.

Nov 12 2020
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style and confidence

The Style & Confidence Connection

By | Mindset & Confidence

There’s no getting away from the fact that style and confidence go hand in hand.

I’ve always thought that an interesting test of how confident you’re feeling about your self-image, is when you go into the dreaded shop dressing rooms! Don’t even get me started on why so many of them have the most god-awful lighting and mirrors in this crucial decision-making area!

But I digress…

You see, style is external, confidence is internal. This means that your style is an outward reflection of how you feel about yourself. If you look in the dressing room mirror and pick holes in everything you see, then there’s some work to be done!

Confidence is an inside game

When we’re struggling internally it’s really easy to adopt a, “I don’t give a s**t what I wear, I just need to get x, y, z done” mindset. We slip into the rut of putting any old combination of clothes on without thought or care. This unconsciously feeds our negative mindset and makes us feel even worse about ourselves.

But here’s the beautiful thing. You can totally transform how you feel about yourself and your life with style and confidence. Now I know you’re probably thinking that’s a big statement but hear me out.

You see, all of your experiences of life are happening from the inside-out not the outside in. When you understand that you’re the one in the driving seat, you can change how you feel and how you see yourself.

So, if you find yourself thinking…

  • But I’m not the ‘right’ dress size
  • I’m not the ‘right’ weight
  • I don’t have someone special to look good for
  • I don’t have enough money to have style

Please STOP!!

You’re just putting big old excuses in your way. True confidence never comes from an external source or someone waving a magic wand. All the confidence you’ll ever need is already inside you – all you need to do is turn the dial up a few notches!

Style is an external manifestation of you

One of the easiest ways to turn up your confidence dial is through the clothes you wear.

Look at it this way – you have to get dressed every morning anyway, right? So why not go all in and choose clothes that help you feel confident and really good about yourself.

My advice is to think about what your clothes are saying about you. If you don’t like what they’re saying and they don’t make you feel good, it’s time to make some changes. You’ve got one shot at this magical thing called life, so why not sashay through it wearing clothes that make you feel incredible!

One of the things I adore the most about being a stylist is seeing women’s confidence skyrocket when they look in the mirror and just know they’ve found their Signature Style. If you’re ready to have this experience too and would love my help, book a Refresh Your Style and Colour call – I can’t wait to hear from you!

Jan 28 2020
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style and confidence

Why Your Style is Stuck (and How to Change it in 2020)

By | Style Tips, Wardrobe Detox

There are a million and one reasons why your style might be stuck right now. But knowing what to do to change it, isn’t always easy! 

I find a helpful way to start changing stuck energy around anything, is to ask myself a couple of key questions. My answers give me clarity and excitement, and this is no different when it comes to my clothes. 

Here are a few questions to ask when your style feels stuck…

  • Are you dressing how you actually want to?
  • Do you feel confident with your current style?
  • If not why not?

Many women I meet believe they have certain style-blocks that they just can’t move past, but more often than not they’re nothing to do with how to wear their clothes. In reality their blocks are mind ones about their body, their finances or whether they look like they’re trying too hard to be stylish. 

Let’s take a closer look at these…

‘My body is too…’

As a stylist I hear so many weight related excuses holding women back from dressing how they want, by insisting they need to be X size before they take action.  If this one is you, believe me, I hear you – media & society paints a very specific picture of what we should look like. 

“You really can look like a million dollars whatever shape or size you are!”

But I’m telling you now, you really can look a million dollars whatever shape or size you are, and feel great about yourself instead of hiding away behind clothes that make you feel down right blahhh!

‘When I have money, I will invest’

Have you ever heard the phrase ‘rich people have no style’? There’s actually an underlying thread of truth in this! I can assure you, you don’t need to make a big investment to have nice clothes and look great. Money is not the source of style – what is, is knowing how to combine and wear your clothes in a way that compliments your shape, personality and lifestyle.

‘I look like I’m trying too hard’

I hear this excuse a lot, especially here in Switzerland! Is it really such a bad thing to present yourself at your best and feel great? Let’s face it ladies, life is way too short to dress in a way we think other people expect. Forget everyone else – if you want to wear that tutu skirt and edge it up with a biker jacket, damn well go for it! Who knows, you might even encourage others to step up their style game in the process.

 So, do any of these ring true as obstacles you’re putting in your own way?

If they do, don’t worry, I’ve got you! Now let’s have a little look at how you can switch things up and elevate your style game for 2020:

Enough With the Excuses!

First things first, it’s time to stop making excuses and take some action – that may seem harsh but it’s true! If all you do every day is open your wardrobe doors, groan and tell yourself nothing will ever change, then low and behold it won’t! 

“Make this the year you take your style by the proverbial balls!”

So make the decision now – are you going to continue staying stuck in a rut, or are you going to make this the year you take your style by the proverbial balls and do something about it?! 

There’s Nothing Like a Good Review

With every 1:1 client I have, the first action we always take is a wardrobe review. If you want to create and embody the style vision you have for yourself, your first stop has to be your current wardrobe – it’s essential! 

There really is something magical that occurs when you clear your wardrobe and make it look aesthetically beautiful. But the magic is not just in how it looks, it’s also in the understanding it gives you of your style, what you like wearing, what makes you feel good and what is missing. 

If this is something you’ve been wanting to do but it seems like too much hard work, why not join my ‘Wardrobe Detox Challenge’ – it’s always more fun doing a task with other great women!

Take the Time to Plan Your Clothes

I have no doubt that as a busy woman you have plenty of know-how when it comes to planning your business, home, family, social engagements (the list goes on!), so why not use these skills to plan out your outfits too.

You could even put a variety of top-to-toe looks together in advance, take a photo of each and create yourself a little image reference library for future use – imagine the time that would save you! 

Small Things Can Make a Big Difference! 

The saying goes ‘the devil is in the details’, so gaining knowledge around the best way to dress your particular body type, and finding ways to add colour or extra touches with accessories, can make a huge difference to how you feel about your style. 

“Don’t be afraid to try something new”

Don’t be afraid to try something new. Just remember the colours you choose need to lift your complexion and your accessories must complement your clothes, rather than going into battle with them! 

Invest in a Style Expert

If you’ve been trying for a while to up your style game but always slip back to what is tried and tested, then it might be time to think about investing in some expert guidance. 

So many people think it costs an arm and a leg to hire the services of a stylist, but I promise you that’s not the case! When you weigh up the time it takes you each day to decide what to wear, buying clothes you don’t end up wearing, the dissatisfaction you feel wearing the same-old-same-old clothes every day, or the insecurity of not knowing if the style you really want to embody suits you, it really is an investment that’s worth making.

Now the decision is yours – are you going to stay stuck or will you take action and knock your style game out of the park in 2020?

If you’re up for the challenge of clearing out the cobwebs and deepest darkest crevices of your wardrobe so you can make better outfit decisions every morning, come and join me in the ‘Wardrobe Detox Challenge’ – I can’t wait to help you create wardrobe heaven! 

Oct 23 2019
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wardrobe detox

The Power of Letting Go

By | Wardrobe Detox

I’m sure many of you can relate to the experience of waking up in the morning, opening your wardrobe doors and groaning at the all too familiar sight that greets you!

Too often it feels like we’re starring in our own version of Groundhog Day, as we stare through uninspired eyes at a rail of clothes that consist of pieces that no longer fit (or have never fit!), were bought on an emotional impulse and never worn, the odd ‘for best’ bits that are practically moth-eaten they so rarely see the light of day, and finally the good old faithfuls that are rolled out every day because…“they’re easy, they fit and they’ll do!”

Ughhhh!

In my work as a personal stylist and wardrobe detoxer, I see all the time the impact being in a wardrobe rut has on my clients. It consistently chips away at their confidence in their bodies and personal style, and before they know it they’re saying ‘they have nothing to wear’ or blaming their body shape. 

Introducing the wardrobe detox! 

Of course the obvious benefit of a wardrobe detox is the creation of more physical space in our closets. But there’s a deeper magic that also happens through this process. 

On an energetic level, when we clear out all our old, unused, worn and ill-fitting clothes, we are allowing what is old and stagnant to flow away, to make way for clothes that flatter our figures, delight our eyes and raise our confidence levels through the roof! 

I kid you not! 

I have seen it time and time again with clients. They start with little confidence, and by the time we’ve sorted and cleared their wardrobe and introduced a few key pieces that are perfect for their shape and style, their confidence is back with a vengeance… it truly is a beautiful sight to behold! 

Let’s Play! 

If you’re ready to reclaim all the body and style confidence that is rightfully yours, before you call in an expert it’s fun to have a play with your wardrobe by yourself first. When you gain knowledge and understanding of the reasons why your clothes need to either stay or go, it’s amazing what progress you can make on your own, and how empowered you feel. 

The key is to play and have fun with this process, so the first step is to allocate whatever time feels good for you to dedicate to your wardrobe detox. It might be 30mins, 1-hour or a whole weekend – there are no shoulds or musts here, the choice is yours! 

When you’re ready, work by product category and bring items out of your closet a few at a time, and hang or lay them in a different setting so you can view them from a new vantage point – this is important for helping you get a different perspective on your clothes.  Anything you are unsure of, try it on and see how this item of clothing makes you feel. 

Now, to help you decide which clothes you’re going to say “bon voyage” too, here’s a checklist of reasons to run each item past.

Let go of something…

  1. When it stirs up bad memories
  2. When it doesn’t make you feel fabulous and confident when you look in the mirror
  3. When something’s been hanging out in your closet for several seasons and you still haven’t worn it
  4. When it’s not cost effective to alter and make it fit again
  5. When through excessive wearing the fabric is too out of shape to flatter your body any more or has multiple holes and looks tatty
  6. When it really doesn’t suit your current style or lifestyle anymore
  7. When, try as you might, those cute as hell shoes just always hurt your feet – boo!
  8. When regardless of how great an item looks, you can’t get away from the fact that the fabric is scratchy and the waistband is too tight and all you want to do is rush home and take the damn thing off!

The items that are left in your wardrobe after this checklist is complete will be ones that you will get maximum use out of, and feel super confident wearing.

To help you further, here is a free guide on  ‘5 Insider Tips on How You Can Instantly Elevate Your Style‘.

And if you’d like some help reconnecting with your confidence with a wardrobe detox, you can find all the details here: ‘Wardrobe Detox Service‘.

I’m here to make things easy, and to help you enjoy and understand the process, so you keep on track and fall in love with your wardrobe experience all over again!